Conversation with my boss yesterday:

Me (calling boss on the phone from my desk):
Hey, it's me. I have a question. Is there any good reason why a PCC app should be in the Exception queue? (Knowing that we have an ongoing problem with stuff being sent there that shouldn't be there, and PCC should NEVER be there.)

Him: *pause*

Him: You know what's funny?

Me: What?

Him: You know that commercial where the guy is at work at the office, and he's working with all monkeys? That's funny.

Me: Yes. Yes, it is.

The day the internet died

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This morning at work an email was sent out to all, reminding us that internet use that was not directly related to work is against company policy and can result in dismissal.

Now, this has been their policy all along, but if one were to slip on to the internet for a few minutes during one's break or lunch, nothing was ever said. But this new batch of employees and temps have apparently been abusing the shit out of the internet, and so a foot had to be put down.

So, at least for the immediate future, no internet for me at work. [sob]

I am having serious withdrawals.

Oh, for crying out loud! [eyeroll]

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I'm at work. I happened upon a file and noticed these comments. Made by one of our reps.

"...HAS PACIFIC CRITERIA..."

Pacific.

Could you...maybe...possibly... mean SPECIFIC?????????????


Am I the one who's wrong to find this disgraceful and unacceptable? It's everything I can do to NOT print this out and bring it to my boss. So I'm just going to bitch about it here instead.


Christ, we should at least be able to speak (write) PROPERLY at our jobs! It's not rocket science!

My life has become a "Friends" episode

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Remember how Chandler was in data processing? And part of his daily lingo at work were words like "WENUS" (Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics) and "ANUS" (Annual Net Usage Statistics)



I just called my supervisor to ask him something. Here's the conversation:

Me: Hi, did you want me to work on any QC reports?

B: Yes. Oh, wait. I've been having trouble with those reports. They keep crashing my Swiss. Just work the QCQ (QC queue) for now.


Every time I hear QC queue, I have the urge to start square-dancing.

Swing your partner, do-see-do...

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!

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I'm rather hyper right now. Between getting my knickers completely in a twist about my lunch being stolen; and the chocolate I ate; and the Denis Leary cd I've been listening to in the car to and from work...

And I just drove home from work, with Denis Leary on the cd player, singing along at the top of my lungs:

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
NAAAAH!
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...
(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)
Why don't you shut up and sing the song?
(Sung)
I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo
(Spoken)
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it!

:D

Is it bad?

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Is it bad that I enjoy listening to The Copacabana? On my mp3 player, at work? And I do a (hopefully) subtle little dance in my chair as I listen?




[blush]





EDIT:

Oh, dear. I dance even more enthusiastically to Uncle Fucker, from the South Park soundtrack. [shock]

This just in:

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I got the job.



There was a voicemail from the HR girl when I got here this morning, and an email with another application to fill out. Got that to her this morning, and just met with her.

The offer was a little less than I wanted, but I think I can make it work. I can work many more hours in the summer (and that's their peak season so they are well able to let me work all the extra hours I want), and the benefits are great. Plus, as Jake gets older, I will be available to work more hours.

Just told Brenda that I accepted the offer. She's thrilled. She was practically doing cartwheels. It seems that she has been fighting HR this whole time to be able to offer this part-time position for this pay rate. It's not normally done, but Brenda fought for it.

Big load off my shoulders.


I have a real job!!!


[happydance]

News, not sure if good or bad

I finally approached Brenda about the job (again).

Turns out she is still fully on board with wanting to hire me. The stalling out is by HR. What could be bad is that apparently it is HR who will be deciding and negotiating the $$, and they are not the ones who love me and want to keep me.

But Brenda will light a little fire under HR to get them to contact me to discuss, as they are supposed to do.



And, yes, that part time job posting was specifically about the position for me.

So, this morning...

.
the posting is gone from the wall.

In my fantasy this means that it was meant for me all along, and it just had to be created and posted as a formality.

Brenda should be approaching me about the job any minute now...

I don't want to speak too soon...

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but there's a new job posting hanging in the kitchen here at work. It's the job I applied for, and it's specifically listed as part-time, 28 hrs. per week.


Is it for me?


Is it for me?


Is it for me?



[bouncy]



I'm afraid to ask the boss lady, in case it's just a cruel joke and the answer is NO.

Losing hope

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So, I applied for a permanent position at the place where I'm temping. And I interviewed with the boss. In April. I had thought it went swimmingly. They loved me. They wanted me. The only hitch was that I needed more money than the position usually paid. (I'd wanted to apply for a higher-up position, but the boss said she needed someone full time for that, and I'm looking for part time.) We left it that she'd talk to The Powers that Be about how much she could offer me, and then we'd talk again about what their offer could be and what my bottom line was. It all sounded very good.

After not hearing a word for several weeks, I asked her where things were. She said she didn't know yet. I asked how long she thought it might be, and she said, 'a couple weeks'.

That was over 3 weeks ago.

Today, I'm just in a very discouraged mood and am not really motivated to get anything done here today. Is she working with TPTB to try to squeeze them for as much as she can so she can hire me because she loves me and wants me so bad? Does she already know that she can't hire me for the $ I need and so she's stringing me along to keep me here for the summer? I've been checking other job listings but I'm not seeing much out there. I don't really feel like starting all over for a job where the $ is just as low. I HATE job hunting. Do I push her into giving me some kind of answer? If the answer is, 'sorry, can't keep you', then I need to go find something else. Do I just keep coming here every day and not ask? Does that make me look like a wussy pushover?

Meh.

I feel so dirty.

.
I work at my job 8:30am - 2:30pm. That way I'm home when the boy gets home from school.

Today, I volunteered to come back and also work from 6pm - 8pm, as the boy's father was picking him up at 5:30.

I had several good reasons for this:

• We've begun a new process at work, and everything's fallen behind while we're adjusting. I happen to be an idiot savant at this, and can get a lot done, and help get us caught up. The boss sent an email to everyone last week asking that everyone chip in to help get caught up, and that no further time off can be approved right now until things catch up.
• I had to leave early yesterday for the boy's dr. appointment, despite of the boss' email about everyone chipping in and not getting time off until we're caught up. (It had already been approved.)
• I'm trying to get them to hire me permanent, even though they really wanted someone full time. AND, I'm also trying to get them to pay me a LOT more than what the normal starting pay is. So I want to demonstrate that I'm a team player, and that even though my schedule is somewhat restricted due to my other job as a mom, I'm willing to give the extra time when I'm able to.
• I finally snapped and spent some money on myself that I really shouldn't have, and I could use the extra hours.
• The boy's birthday is coming up, and I could use the extra hours.

All very valid reasons, mostly selfish reasons, yes?

But the little voice in my head keeps whispering..."SUCK-UP!"

I believe I have 'outed' myself as a psychopath at work

.
Anyone remember the question that was supposedly created by a psychiatrist, and if you answered 'correctly', it meant that you think like a psychopath:

Psychological Test:

Read this question, come up with an answer--
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, She believed him to be her dream and she fell in love with him right there but did not ask for his number and no matter how hard she tried she could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

This floated around the WD once, and I remember that I got the answer right. It was the only thing that made sense to me, and I couldn't imagine what other answers people might come up with. But I never talked about it with anyone, and never got any feedback.

Flash forward to today. I went into the filing room at work and all the temps (probably 10 of them) were talking about something that sounded intriguing. I asked what was up, and someone said there was this question that some psychologist made up, and if you answer it right it means you think like a psychopath. I said, "oh, yeah, I flunked that one." They asked what I meant, and I told them that I knew the right answer right away, that it was the only answer that had ever come to mind for me, and asked if that was bad. They all seemed a tiny bit stunned and didn't seem to believe I knew it. I asked, "the one with the mother's funeral? Yeah, she killed the sister so (I won't post the answer here in case anyone's interested in playing). Did any of you get it?" Nope. Not one of them. And they seemed a bit stunned or tickled or maybe a bit nervous that I did.

Mwahahahahaha

Quick update

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Job: Boring, easy. Just filing so far. But I don't think I'd be up for a challenge anyway. Boring and easy is a good start. Quite a few other temps to talk to, and just about no supervision.

Me: Exhausted. The filing isn't particularly taxing, but I'm just very unused to getting up and out of the house all day. Each day is a little better. By next week I'm sure I'll be adjusted. See why boring and easy is a good start?

House: Horrid mess. See "Me", above.

Boy: Great. Got his report card, all grades ranging from A+ to B. Mostly A's. Perhaps a bit neglected this week, (see "Me", above) he hasn't had the most elaborate suppers so far this week. [blush] The last 3 days of this week are 'early release' school days. Got him into an afterschool program that transports him by bus (only for the days I need, ie: the early release days). Today was his first day there. Friends, sports, mookwalk, bingo. Had a great time. According to the boy, it's




Oops! Forgot to update shoulder: Bursa staying calm for now. Am icing both of them at least once a day, and taking care in how I move.

Cool beans.

Stylin'

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Needed to buy some clothes for my new un-unemployed state. It is with a heavy heart that I admit that I now officially have to shop the The Big Girls' Store.
The regular stores have bigger sizes, and they have petites, but they rarely have big sizes in petites. And I really need petites because otherwise the sleeves, neckline, waist of shirt, waist of pants and length of pants just do not work for me. A month or so ago I went to The Big Girls' Store to get 'interview' clothes, and found some really nice things there. Really nice, but a little more $$ than I'm used to spending. Anyhoo, went back there today, poured through the racks at the front half of the store twice, and was sad that I couldn't find anything I liked. Well, I did find some blouses that I liked, but they were very similar to the two blouses I'd bought the last time (and kind of pricy). I almost started to panic. If I can't find nice clothes to fit me here, where else am I going to go? Then, at the back of the store, I found a huge wall of clothes marked 40% off. And some of these were already previously marked down! Woo-hoo! I found FOUR tops, all that I like, all that fit, all suitable for work, and none too similar to what I already have. And I got all four for $56.00.



And I got a coupon for $25.00 off of a purchase of $50.00.
Which is fantastic, except it's only good for one particular week, a bit close to Christmas, and I HATE going to stores at that time. Way too crowded. But to get $50.00 worth of stuff for $25.00? No brainer.

Put one foot in front of the other...

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I got a job!

It's through the temp agency, so it's not permanant, but it's sure a start. The hours are what I want, the pay's a wee bit less than I want (but that's ok) and it's going to last at least a month. I start Monday.

Yay, me!

Second step in the right direction

Went to my interview today. Actually, I prefer to call it an appointment, since the thought of an interview sends me into irrational panic, and is one of the reasons I decided to go the temp route, anyway. First I filled out a TON of paperwork. By that time I needed to pee but I didn't want to interrupt the process by having to excuse myself. So on we went to the Word, Excel and typing tests, and my bladder gave a little shudder when she told me I'd have 30 minutes for each section. Those Word and Excel tests are so cool! I did pretty well. I don't know everything about the programs, but I know quite a bit. I choked a bit on the typing test, even though I had two practice sessions. I know I can type 60 wpm, but with this test it was fifty-something with 6 errors, calculating down to 47 wpm. Oh well. No biggy. Then I spoke with the woman who is in charge of placing people in temp positions, and it went well. Then I talked to the woman who is in charge of finding permanent placements for people, and this went a little more like an interview, but it went very well. It got a little sticky but it turned out just fine. In my last job (the one from home) I didn't make much money, so she said she'd have a hard time asking employers for what I was asking for now, because they'll ask what I made at my last job. So I had to get into my personal situation a bit: I worked full time when I first had my son, then when we were laid off I was home with him for the first time and loved it. Then I got the opportunity to work for my old bosses, from home, part time, plus I had a fiance with a full time job, so I had the luxury to work for less money in these circumstances. She liked this explanation very much and was sure it would do the trick. BUT then she asked if I still had the other person with the income (which is relevent in that it explains why I need a higher paying job again), and I answered no. Before I could explain further she said, assuming we had broken up, and in the spirit of sisterhood I'm sure, "good, I hope you kicked the bum out!" To which I had to reply, "actually, he passed away". Could I mortify my interviewer MORE?? She felt terrible and could not stop apologizing, and I kept saying it was fine and I could have perhaps presented it a different way so that wouldn't have happened like that. All in all, it was fine. She did say that this information might be useful to show that I'm serious about needing a position and good pay, as I now am the main supporter of myself and my boy. She loved my resume for the content and it's presentation (which my Allie wrote for me but for which I took credit), said I had a lot of skills, and that when I went to a company they'd probably fall in love with me and want to keep me. Which is what I would love to happen. Then I left but I still had to pee, and I couldn't find a restroom in the building, so I had to rush home rather quickly.

I feel so bad for her though. She's probably still kicking herself.

A step in the right direction

Last week I applied on-line at a temp agency near my home. I meant to call them to follow up, but I've been feeling crappy and haven't done it.

Just now I was looking in the yellow pages for a gift shop, and I stumbled across an ad for the temp agency I used to work for, years ago. I hadn't really considered them this time, because I live much further from them now, and really want local work. But their ad just screamed at me in bold letters, "Serving the Rte (rte very near me) & Rte (rte also very near me) areas". It seemed to be waving it's arms and yelling, "hey, you've done this before, it won't be scary, and you are MUCH more skilled than the first time! Do it! Do it!" So before I lost my nerve, I called them and set an appointment to see them tomorrow morning! I just hope I can keep my mood up.

Go, me!