Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Why is TiVo evil?

I've said it again and again. But, of course, it's always to new victims people, so I have to explain why, again. I believe it's now time to blog this, to record the Truth for all time.

I used to work for the repair department of a major electronics company, and we were the only ones in the country to repair this brand of TiVo. So I've been exposed to a lot of people with TiVo. Something happens to the brains of people who watch TiVo. TiVo takes over your mind. You become a junkie. I have heard, again and again - in real life, in dealing with customers, and on the internet - people saying, "Oh, I LOVE my TiVo!! I can't live without it!!!" It's not just a figure of speech. They really mean it. And so something happens to people when their TiVo breaks. Something 100 times scarier than what happens to them when their other electronics break. They lose all sense of reason. They go through major withdrawls. They become violent and desperate. It's evil, I tell you. At one point, we had deduced that TiVo was actually the brain-child of Osama Bin Laden, created to bring America to it's knees.

Pure evil.

If you don't have TiVo, never get it. Please.

And if you have TiVo, throw it away right now! Just smash it, and throw it in a dumpster. And if you feel that this suggestion is utterly ridiculous, then I'm sorry, but it's already too late for you. You have been sucked into the evil that is TiVo.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Tshirt surgery

I've got a ton of printed Tshirts that I love for whatever is printed on them. But they're all men's boxy Tshirts, and make me look like more of a lump than I even am. The MOST unflattering things you could think of. So I don't wear them, even though I love them. I've been turning the problem over in my mind for the last couple weeks. And coincidentally, someone over on the curly board I go to asked about the same thing. And someone provided a link to this tutorial. Now, I can sew, anyway, and I usually figure out in my head how I'm going to go about something. But this tutorial reassured me that I was thinking along the right lines. And I didn't even think of what she did for the sleeves. It was brilliant!

So here's my first one:



I'm very excited about the results. Now that I'm not quite so much the blob I used to be, I've wanted to wear shirts just a little fitted, and now I can wear my favorites!

I think this is a wonderful idea, and this tutorial does an excellent job demonstrating how!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I hate when I'm stupid

Yesterday, now that the boy is out of school for the summer, I started working full time instead of 'Mother's hours'. Which means I get out at 5:00 instead of 2:30. So I'm tired. So tired that I've dropped about 20 IQ points this afternoon.

My boss and I somehow* ended up in a conversation about lions attacking animals at the waterhole. And then my brain left me:

Me: Yeah, when Jake and I went to...that place with the penguins...
Him: The Aquarium?
Me: Yes! Anyway, when we were there we went to see that movie thing that I can't think of the name of...
Him: Imax?
Me: Yes!

All that to talk about the Imax movie Jake and I saw at the Aquarium about the lions and the watering hole. [eyeroll] Shortly thereafter, the conversation ended. I think we both realized I wasn't up for anything requiring intelligence, like forming words into meaningful speech.

*I actually remember how we got there: He asked me who Bill Pardy was ('I'm Bill Pardy' is my screensaver), I talked about Slither, he brought up Crystal's coffee cans (do you really want me to explain that further?), then my origami, then it went to penguins (because I have several penguin look-looks on my desk), then to March of the Penguins, then how the penguins got attacked by sealions in that movie, then bobcats vs. deer, then lions vs. zebras. Then my brilliant Imax story.

Saturday, June 16, 2007


The Boy is off at his friend's sleepover-birthday party. To celebrate my aloneness, I am going to hunker down with a pedicure, Slither*, and some Rum and Diet Cokes.

Go, me!

*Why is it that all the Men I Love have to do horror movies? I hate horror movies. I don't even want to see this horror movie. But...Nathan!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Way cool

(Clickage will get you a bigger version, easier to read.)

Thursday, June 7, 2007

My latest project

The boy's class is doing a Wax Museum presentation. The boy is Neil Armstrong. Guess who got to make the costume:

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Dear Boy: Don't say I never gave you anything.

It's recently been discovered that the poor Boy is suffering from myopia and astigmatism. (See how I know how to spell those words?) Wonder where he got that from???

*whistles innocently*

Ok, fine. He got them from me.

Here he is in his new glasses:

Very distinguished, yes? Note the mustache. He's had that since 3rd grade. Also note the look on his face. I'm pretty sure it translates to, "Damnit, woman! It's bad enough you gave me bad eyes and I had to get these stupid glasses, but now you insist on a picture?"

Don't ya think he'd just kill me if he knew I was throwing said picture out all over the interweb? Shhhh. Please don't tell him.