Sunday, July 30, 2006

So, my weekend...

Saturday, Jake and I slept late, then hauled poor kitty boy to the vet for yet another blood draw (dumbasses that the vet forgot to send it to the lab two weeks ago when I brought him in!), picked up kitty's food and pills while we were there; then after bringing kitty boy back home, off we went to the Milk Bottle for a late breakfast. Yum. Then it was shopping at Walmart, a nice rest at home, then packing and the trek up to Ma & Dad's. Did two loads of laundry up there (yay for free laundry!).

This morning we all (me, Jake, Ma, Dad, Sis, nephew and niece) went up to Canobie Lake Park (small, old amusement park in NH), which we do every year just about this time. The kids had a great time. Us old folks were a bit wiped out with all the walking around all day and the HEAT and sun. Stopped at a pizza place for lunch, and after we ate, they suprised me with a birthday cake (birthday is tomorrow). My insane mother smuggled a birthday cake into the amusement park and was pushing it around all day! (We'd rented a carriage to haul all our stuff around all day.) So that was a nice suprise. Sis had pressies for me from her and her kids, too. (Ma & Dad had given me some clothes and cash that morning.) My neice and nephews gave me a gift card to Blockbusters. I'm sure there's SOME video I've been dying to get! And sis gave me a foot-care kit from Mary Kay. I just yuv me some foot-care kits!

After a full day at the park, we climbed into my parents' mini-van for the hour ride back to their house, then Jake and I got in OUR car the hour ride back to our place.

I've just finished using my new foot kit. It's marvelous. First, my tootsies did a 15 minute soak with rosemary and mint fizzie tablets. Then came the mint foot mask, which cooled and tingled my little feet for ten minutes before I rinsed it off and scrubbed and pumiced my heels. Finally I slathered on the moisturizing cream, and then put on the cute little booties to lock in the moisture. And don't my feet feel refreshed!

Now I should head off to bed and get some sleep, so the rest of me can feel somewhat refreshed, too!

Friday, July 28, 2006


where's my panties?

Oh, and side note: I actually got to say, "Dude, where's my car?" the other night. :D Jake and I couldn't find the car after the concert and were wandering around the parking lot for a few minutes.

Just got back from BON JOVI

Beyond exhausted.

Will try to update this weekend.


Sunday, July 16, 2006

New Products

I've been working on some new products, and I've finally got them up at my shop.

They're healing stone bracelets, and the idea came compliments of my Aunt Barbie. I think they're kind of neat. I've made one for myself, and custom picked all the stones I thought I could benefit from best. :-D

Thursday, July 13, 2006

So, Laurie, where *did* you go last night?

So, where did I go last night? (Well, technically, this morning?) Well, I'm so glad you asked. Funny story. Really. It was a hoot.

So, Jake and I went to sleep last night, as we so often do. I was awakened by the ringing of the telephone around midnight. Thought briefly of not answering it, but then answered it anyway.

Bad move.

It was Dickface. Needing a really big favor. Calling me from the b a c k
o f
t h e
p o l i c e
c r u i s e r.


Seems some other motorists noticed him driving rather erratically, and called it in. And some nice policemen stopped him and smelled alcohol on him and notices him kind of swaying, decided that it would be best if they had his car towed and put him in the back of their car. And then he called me. To come pick him up at the police station. In Weymouth. Half an hour drive away from me. Then Mr. Nice Policeman wanted to talk to me. He explained what was going on, and that he (Mr. Nice Policeman) must be an exceptionally good mood tonight, because instead of booking Dickface, they had decided that perhaps he was just a bit over-tired, and they were certain that he should not be driving, but perhaps it would be alright if someone were to pick him up. And then Mr. Nice Policeman described how Dickface appeared to be behaving, and asked if this was typical for him, or unusual behavior. [code: is he always a stupid ass and should we take him straight to jail, or is he a good guy who screwed up and deserves a break] Do I need to spell out for you how drunk on Dickface-destroying power I was at that moment? But, alas, I took the high road. No, Mr. Nice Policeman, this isn't like him at all. He's a good guy.

So, Mr. Nice Policeman is SUCH a nice man, that, after I explained that I was not familiar with that town, that he picked an easy-to-find, open-24-hour-pharmacy, right off of the highway, for me to pick Dickface up at, instead of the police station. Isn't he the nicest policeman, ever? And, after I further explained that I was going to have to bring my 10 year old son with me, he even said he would make sure that they shut of the flashing lights to the police car. Mustn't let the poor boy know daddy was busted, right?

So, I got to:

  • get woken up in the middle of the night
  • talk to Dickface
  • talk to the police
  • wake my son up in the middle of the night to go pick up dad (because his car broke down, wink, wink)
  • drive half an hour to a place I've never been, in the middle of the night
  • do you know how much a quarter tank of gas costs right now?
  • spend 45 minutes with Dickface next to me in my car
  • have to listen to Dickface talk - when he's drunk, mind you - for 45 minutes, while I drive him home, after I specifically ordered him to NOT talk, other than saying 'hi' to Jake, because Jake is no dummy and was already questioning why dad was in Weymouth in the middle of the night, and I did NOT want him to figure out that dad was drunk
  • be exhausted today, and have Jake be exhausted today, when I have work, and Jake had a day at the zoo with his summer camp, and on the way home last night Dickface piped up with, "oh, I already called in sick for tomorrow!" How nice for you. Hope you have a nice sleep-in. We'll be fucking exhausted, but how nice for you, Dickface.

I did get a bit of pleasure in torturing him with my music. I popped a cd in, and he had the nerve to say, "just to warn you, I am deathly allergic to Bon Jovi". Now, I can certainly understand he would assume I was popping in Bon Jovi, but don't you think that, given the situation, he should just shut up and not complain about the music??????? As it was, it was Neil Diamond anyway. And he was absolutely flabbergasted. "Do you really listen to this?" hee hee hee hee I got to torture him!

I also got some joy out of imagining what I could have said to the cop: "Officer, he did that again?!? I told him never to call me again for this! You keep him!" Wouldn't that have been fun?

Oh, he SO owes me.

In a nutshell (I know, waaaaaay too late for the nutshell), if I had been home alone and he called me like this, I would have been annoyed. But calling me when he knew that Jake was home, was the equivalant of calling his 10 year old son to come pick up him from the police station because he got busted for drunk-driving. That is just SO wrong. And I am SO angry about it.

He should have called a friend. Or a co-worker. Or his brother. Or ANYONE else. Or gone to jail. ANY of those options, before calling his kid to come bail his ass out of jail!

All ex-husbands must die.

Oh, you will NEVER guess where I'm going right now!

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The day the internet died

This morning at work an email was sent out to all, reminding us that internet use that was not directly related to work is against company policy and can result in dismissal.

Now, this has been their policy all along, but if one were to slip on to the internet for a few minutes during one's break or lunch, nothing was ever said. But this new batch of employees and temps have apparently been abusing the shit out of the internet, and so a foot had to be put down.

So, at least for the immediate future, no internet for me at work. [sob]

I am having serious withdrawals.

Saturday, July 8, 2006

Oh, for crying out loud! [eyeroll]

I'm at work. I happened upon a file and noticed these comments. Made by one of our reps.



Could you...maybe...possibly... mean SPECIFIC?????????????

Am I the one who's wrong to find this disgraceful and unacceptable? It's everything I can do to NOT print this out and bring it to my boss. So I'm just going to bitch about it here instead.

Christ, we should at least be able to speak (write) PROPERLY at our jobs! It's not rocket science!

Friday, July 7, 2006

Stolen from Helen

TV Meme

Rules: Bold all of the following TV shows which you've ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime. Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode of it. If you want, add up to 3 additional shows (keep the list in alphabetical order), but you must delete one show for each one that you add.


7th Heaven


Aeon Flux

Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Alias Smith and Jones

Alias (DVD releases, season 5 aired on satellite)

American Idol/Pop Idol/Canadian Idol/Australian Idol/etc.


Arrested Development

Babylon 5

Babylon 5: Crusade

Battlestar Galactica (the old one)

Battlestar Galactica (the new one)


Beavis & Butthead

Beverly Hills 90210


Bosom Buddies

Boston Legal

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Chappelle's Show

Charlie's Angels




Commander in Chief


Cowboy Bebop

Crossing Jordan


CSI: Miami


Curb Your Enthusiasm

Danny Phantom

Dark Angel

Dark Skies

DaVinci's Inquest

Dawson's Creek

Dead Like Me

Deadliest Catch


Degrassi High

Degrassi: The Next Generation

Designing Women

Desperate Housewives

Dharma & Greg

Different Strokes

Doctor Who


Drake & Josh

Due South





Everybody Loves Raymond

Facts of Life

Family Guy

Fantastic Journey


Father Ted

Fawlty Towers


Forever Knight




Get Smart

Gilligan's Island

Gilmore Girls

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.

Grey's Anatomy

Growing Pains


Happy Days

Hogan's Heroes

Home Improvement

Homicide: Life on the Street


I Dream of Jeannie

I Love Lucy


Invader Zim


Hell's Kitchen




Judging Amy

Kung Fu

Kung Fu: The Legend Continues

LA Law

Laverne and Shirley

Little House on the Prairie

Lizzie McGuire

Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman


Lost in Space

Love, American Style



Malcolm in the Middle

Married... With Children

Melrose Place

Miami Vice

Mission: Impossible

Mod Squad


Mork & Mindy

Murphy Brown

My Three Sons

My Two Dads



Ned Bigby's Declassified School Survival Guide



One Tree Hill


Perry Mason

Power Rangers

Prison Break


Project Runway

Quantum Leap

Queer As Folk (US)

Queer as Folk (British)


Remington Steele

Rescue Me

Road Rules




Saved by the Bell

Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?


Seaquest DSV


Sex and the City

Six Feet Under

Slings and Arrows


So Weird

South Park

Spongebob Squarepants

Square Pegs

Star Trek

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Star Trek: Voyager

Star Trek: Enterprise

Stargate Atlantis

Stargate SG-1

Starsky & Hutch






Teen Titans

That 70's Show

That's So Raven

The 4400

The Addams Family

The Amazing Race

The Andy Griffith Show

The A-Team

The Avengers

The Beverly Hillbillies

The Brady Bunch

The Cosby Show

The Daily Show

The Dead Zone

The Dick Van Dyke Show

The Flintstones

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

The Golden Girls

The Incredible Hulk

The Jeffersons

The Jetsons

The L Word

The Love Boat

The Magnificent Seven

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

The Monkees

The Munsters

The O.C.

The Office (UK)

The Office (US)

The Pretender

The Real World

The Shield

The Simpsons

The Six Million Dollar Man

The Sopranos

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

The Twilight Zone

The Waltons

The West Wing

The Wonder Years

The X-Files

Third Watch

Three's Company


Twin Peaks

Twitch City


Veronica Mars

Whose Line is it Anyway? (US)

Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK)

Will and Grace



Thursday, July 6, 2006

My life has become a "Friends" episode

Remember how Chandler was in data processing? And part of his daily lingo at work were words like "WENUS" (Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics) and "ANUS" (Annual Net Usage Statistics)

I just called my supervisor to ask him something. Here's the conversation:

Me: Hi, did you want me to work on any QC reports?

B: Yes. Oh, wait. I've been having trouble with those reports. They keep crashing my Swiss. Just work the QCQ (QC queue) for now.

Every time I hear QC queue, I have the urge to start square-dancing.

Swing your partner, do-see-do...