Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Why is TiVo evil?

I've said it again and again. But, of course, it's always to new victims people, so I have to explain why, again. I believe it's now time to blog this, to record the Truth for all time.

I used to work for the repair department of a major electronics company, and we were the only ones in the country to repair this brand of TiVo. So I've been exposed to a lot of people with TiVo. Something happens to the brains of people who watch TiVo. TiVo takes over your mind. You become a junkie. I have heard, again and again - in real life, in dealing with customers, and on the internet - people saying, "Oh, I LOVE my TiVo!! I can't live without it!!!" It's not just a figure of speech. They really mean it. And so something happens to people when their TiVo breaks. Something 100 times scarier than what happens to them when their other electronics break. They lose all sense of reason. They go through major withdrawls. They become violent and desperate. It's evil, I tell you. At one point, we had deduced that TiVo was actually the brain-child of Osama Bin Laden, created to bring America to it's knees.

Pure evil.

If you don't have TiVo, never get it. Please.

And if you have TiVo, throw it away right now! Just smash it, and throw it in a dumpster. And if you feel that this suggestion is utterly ridiculous, then I'm sorry, but it's already too late for you. You have been sucked into the evil that is TiVo.

6 comments:

Amanda said...

Blasphemy! TiVo is my friend! It knows what I like! It helps me stalk Bruce Campbell! It saves me time and I don't have to worry about running out of VHS tape! How dare you say TiVo is evil?!?

;)

Jess said...

Heh.

Well, I watch less TV since I got TiVo, which is an unqualifiedly good thing, and all of it's stuff I meant to watch, not just channel surfing. When it messes up I never rant to Customer Service, I just download what I missed ;). Perhaps I'm just an aberration.

Angela said...

I've got a digital pvr - not branded TiVo, but rented from my cable company. It's basically a fancy VCR as it doesn't seek out stuff I *might* like, but only records what I tell it to. Is that still evil? I'm pretty certain I could live without it, although the boyfriend gets pouty when I talk about downsizing our cable, so I don't know if he could.

Chuck said...

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/1172573873689.jpg

Not only do they come as sammiches, they also come with caffeine!

Lolly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lolly said...

Excellent!