Thursday, January 26, 2006


Today was a 1/2 day of school so the boy went to the after-school-care place after school. I just picked him up. Some little BITCH called him a name while he was there today. It's upset him. A LOT. He's crying. He's extremely upset and doesn't want to talk about it. VERY upset. I want to go kill the bitch. I want to rip her tongue out. I want to call her mother and yell at her and tell her what an evil bitch her little girl is.

But as of right now, I'm just writing in my blog to try to vent some of this out.

(Any suggestions on what to do or any offers of a hit would be appreciated.)


Helen said...

Little bloody madam.

Grrrrrrrr. Instead of a hit, I say we play distraction, and take the boy to do something fun. If I'm theoretically flying to Mgan's, I can do the same to you!

I'd have a word with the leader of the care group, and if the girl's mother seems like the right type to listen and be concerned over her daughter's behaviour, have a word with her too. As long as your boy and the girl aren't aware- that might make it worse (girl retaliating cos she got in trouble).

Hugs for the boy. Tell him he's so special, he is getting squishy English hugs!

Meghan said...

I don't even want to think about what I'll do if some little brat attacks Xan in any way in the future.

So, yeah... no advice here. Or, at least, nothing reasonable or constructive. ;]

Let me think on it.

CosmicAvatar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CosmicAvatar said...

Console yourself that when the little brat grows up, she'll probably be lucky if she ends up manning the counter at MacDonalds. [/comforting thought]

Kids are capable of being thoughtless, selfish and occasionally cruel, simply because they're young and see the world as an extension of themselves. Most of them, when they grow up, will realize this and become better people. Try not to take it too hard. And a word with the care group leader wouldn't hurt either, as Helen said.

p.s. Hello! I don't think I've posted before, so hope you don't mind the additional stalkage.

Lolly said...

Update: he's much better now. It really wasn't such a huge deal, but Hell hath no fury like a woman who's baby has been hurt! I really just need to vent.

The director of the program already knows about it and talked to me about it. He spoke to the girl and I think he told her mother, too.

Helen, I told him you gave him a hug, and he said to say thank you.

Meghan, just being backed up by another mommy who'd kill for her little boy is plenty!

Amanda, welcome, welcome! I'm always happy to have additional stalkage!

I know kids can be and are mean, for no good reason. And I know the boy is just going to have to learn to let it roll off his back. But it's not easy, because he's really, really sensitive and emotional. (I feel so bad for the poor bastard, because I was/am just like that. It sucks.) So I do try to teach him that people are sometimes thoughtless or even mean, and we have to try to not take it to heart. I think what really bothered me is that he was really hurting and I was powerless and could not make it go away. I guess I'd better get used to that, huh?

All is ok now.


Meghan said...

See, I'm worried I'll have the opposite problem with Xan.

Rick is a stone. He rarely shows emotion, and when he does... it's almost never sadness. I'm afraid Xan will feel he has to handle things the same way. So, I want to do my best to let him know that being upset and showing emotion is okay.

If boys really do model their behavior after their fathers, that's going to be quite a challenge.

Lolly said...

Hmm..I don't know if I can offer good advice there, because dickface and I have done our parenting while living apart, so when I'm influencing the boy I'm alone.

But I think, to start, a lot of it might have to do with how you react when he cries (not his baby "I'm hungry" cry, but later, when another baby takes his toy or something scares him and he cries). And when he's old enough to express himself, how you react to his feelings. I remember when I was growing up I was made to feel (probably not on purpose) that I shouldn't be crying and I was being silly or stupid or bad because I felt the way I felt. Totally fucked me up. So when the boy is sad or scared or crying, I try to sympathize and comfort him, and let him know it's ok to feel how he's feeling. But at the same time, I also have to try not to coddle him too much, because he needs to be strong, too. What I try to teach him is that whatever he feels is ok, no one can help what they feel, but we DO need to control how we act on those feelings.

And I promise you, I had NONE of this planned when I was pregnant. I had no great philosophy on how I was going to raise my baby. But I've always listened to my gut and dealt with situations in just the way that seemed to make sense to me.