Hi Ho, Hi Ho

So. I've got a job. It's only a temp job, it's supposedly going to last a month, and that's fine by me. Not because I don't want to work; Oh, Lord, do I want to work! But because, for several reasons, it's not what I want in a permanent job. For one thing, it's $4 less per hour than what I'm looking for. I can't live on what I'm making here. (But of course, between making this money and making NO money at all, clearly I prefer making this money.) For another, it's a little further away from home than I'd like. I've had other jobs this far away, but I was just hoping for something a bit closer this time. (Luckily, the hours are 7am - 3:30pm, which means I miss the rush hour traffic both ways, and my commute only takes about 25 minutes. I'm not sure I would have even accepted the job if the hours nearer to 9-5, as the commute would have taken over an hour each way. Another bonus with early hours is that I get home before 4:3o each day, and I don't feel like the whole day is already gone.) Thirdly, this isn't even the job I thought I was accepting. The job was supposed to be data entry. It's not. It's in a mailroom, stuffing envelopes. No computers at all. (But again, between making this money and making NO money, I'll taking making this money, thank you very much.)

There are some good things about the job. As I said, I have an income, and the hours and commute are good. Also, the people are friendly enough, and the dress code is very casual so I can wear jeans and be comfortable every day.

But there is a lot I don't like about it. The work itself kind of bites. I wouldn't mind so much, except we're in a pattern of "Temp, here's a pile of work, put it over there when you're done", at which point I have to ask someone if they have something else for me to do. 10 times a day. I would like it much better if it was set up so I could come in, be able to pull the work I needed to do, and work independently all day. But I constantly have to wait for someone to give me another pile of stuff to do, and it makes me feel very awkward and uncomfortable. I am hoping that as time goes on (I've only worked two days so far) and I learn more, that they'll be able to just shove more at me and I can work much more independently through the day.

The other thing I really don't like about the job is that a security pass is needed to go from one area to another. And temps don't have passes. This means that to get into the building, to get into the room I'm working, to go out to the bathroom (which Miss Hamster Bladder needs to do quite frequently), to go to break, to go to lunch, to go get a cup of coffee, and to even LEAVE the building at the end of the day, I have to ask someone to let me in/out. I get very uncomfortable and frustrated, having to ask someone to stop what they are doing and help me every time I want to go to the restroom or go to break. I don't even go get coffee or water as much as I'd like, because I don't want to keep having to bother people. It's insane. (At my previous place of employment, the same type of pass was needed and they WERE given to temps. I don't think it's hard to program the passes.) I think it would actually be easier on them to give the temps passes. They'd be able to track our movement within the building, and know where we were and for how long. That is TOTALLY in their favor.

One of the girls I'm working with started the day before me. She's from a different temp agency, and apparently SHE was told the job would be indefinite. If things were different, I would be happy to have this be a long-term temp job. But as it is? Not so much. I will continue my job search and hope I can find something better very soon.

And another thing: My fucking mother is fucking INSANE. (I know, nothing new, there.) Ever since my unemployment benefits ran out, she's been freaking out about my not having any income. I swear, I am not even able to worry about my own problems like a normal person, because I have to spend so much time convincing my mother that Things Are Not That Bad. Sometimes it really pisses me off, how much she has taken from me. Why should the focus of everything that happens to me have to be How To Calm My Mother Down. I should be able to focus on myself once in a while. Also, at my grandmother's birthday party a couple of weeks ago, she announced to everyone that I HAVE NO MONEY. (Which isn't even true. I have savings, which I would have to have to piss through, but at least I won't be living in a cardboard box any time soon.) In any case, when I got this job, I was actually excited to call her and tell her. I thought she'd be thrilled and relieved that I will be making some money. Even if it was less than how much I was looking for, it was still money, and I was not locked into it long-term. But that's not how the conversation went. She kept saying things like, "Well, try it for a couple of weeks, and if you don't like it, you can quit". (Did I even say ANYTHING to the effect that I didn't think I'd like it??? NO. This was when I thought it was data entry.) WTF, lady???? She just kept going on: negative, Negative, NEGATIVE. Finally, she had to go see my dad off somewhere, and said she'd call me back. Oh, I was so angry I was about to cry. Why the FUCK does everything have to turn into trying to convince my mother that everything is ok???? When she did call me back, she apologized for being so negative. Which means my dad must have said something to her. I'm still angry about it. But this is one of those things that I am going to have to just try to shake off, because it will never be fixed. Something is seriously wrong inside of her fucking head, and it's never going to get better.