My baby starts fourth grade tomorrow!

He's, like, full-fledged South Park boy age now.


*sob*

Does this mean I've been watching too much Gilmore Girls? (Disclaimer: if you don't watch GG, you won't understand this post.)

I'm a bit peckish and was thinking of what to have for supper, whilst reading the latest Harry Potter and also watching (really just listening to) Gilmore Girls. Loralei just mentioned Al's Pancake World, and I immediately thought, "Ooh! I'd love some Chinese food!"

Kick her when she's down, why don't ya?

Remember my cousin's daughter, K, who lost her husband to an aneurism a month ago? I just found out at my other cousin's funeral last week that she's 5 months pregnant! She already has 3 babies, this will be the fourth. I'm sure she knew she was pregnant when she lost J and went through all that. I can't imagine.

I can't believe this life.

Stolen from bettie

Hee.

Good news, good news, and of course, crappy news.

My dad's cardio catheter went well. We woke up at 5:30 and left the house at 6:30, and got there really early. But if we'd waited and left later, we would have been stuck in morning traffic and not gotten there in time. Anyhoo, he went in, and my mom, my sis, and I went to get some coffee and stuff and killed a couple of hours. Then they beeped us. We went back up and the doctor came out and told us that he found very little blockage, and my dad would not require the angioplasty nor the stent. Yay!!! So that's wonderful news. He was still in recovery and we had to kill a couple of more hours, but we were back at their house by 2:00. And the second good news is that I got to pick up my boy (who was on vaca with his dad all last week) from his other grandmother's house and GO HOME! So I'm home. Yay! (And another little Yay! because I was able to drive into and out of the city without incident. Go, me! It actually felt really nice to be able to do something substantial for my parents, after all they've done for me this year.)

But of course, when I got home there was a message from my mom on the machine asking me to call her. Called her. Ricky just passed away. :( So I'll be heading back up there later this week for the wake and funeral. This had better be IT. NO ONE else whom I know, have met, or have even HEARD OF is allowed to die this year. Put a fork in me. I'm DONE.

If I knew how to spell a wordless, gut-wrenching scream, I would put it here in the title.

Been kind of freaking out today.

The impact of how serious the procedure on my dad could be is hitting me. Now I've volunteered to drive them in to the city, as my dad won't be able to drive after it, and my mom was going to try but it will be a lot harder for her than it will be for me.

And my cousin (the one with cancer) is dying. Now. This morning the word was that he most likely had less than 24 hours left. I thought about going to see him but I just can't. And this is all hitting me a lot harder than I expected. And now I can't believe I'm never going to see him again. The last time I saw him was at Jason's wake. I can't imagine what it's been like for him, knowing for three years that he's dying, and going to three other young family members funerals in these last months.

I'm going to stay at my parents house Sunday night, as we'll need to leave early for the hospital. And as there's most likely going to be a wake and funeral shortly thereafter, I'll be packing my funeral clothes. The fact that I actually have funeral clothes hit me today, and I find it bizarre and rather disturbing. And it pisses me off. Why should I need funeral clothes? This year, I sure do. I hate this year.

And also the realization that when I go up to my parents' house, I'll probably end up staying there at least 2 or 3 days, between my dad's procedure and the wake/funeral, is not making me any happier.

Shit

Just got a call from my sister. She's looking for our parents, because our cousin called looking for them. Our other cousin, the one dying of cancer, may be at the end. She just called me back; she found them. They're going to head over to see him. I was just considering heading up there, maybe seeing him myself. But I don't think I can.

Now I'm crying. And it's completely taking my by suprise. But I can't bear the thought of seeing another one in a fucking coffin. I've had enough.

I know I said I loved the school system, but...

Ok, as you may or may not know, I've gotten a lot of pressure from my family to move back near them. One of my arguments for staying put is that the school system here is great. New school building, small class sizes, lots of computers, lots of good stuff.

Today we received a letter from my son's new teacher (which we do every year) with a list of supplies he'll need to bring with him on the first day:

• Plastic pencil box
• 3 pencils
• 4 glue sticks
• scissors
• colored pencils
• 3 folders
• One deck of playing cards

Is this the year they teach poker?


lol

I'm quite Irashional

I've got a rash. It started either Tuesday or Wednesday, as tiny little bumps in front of my ears and behind them as well. Lots of little bumps very close together, but more flesh-colored than red. By the next day it had spread to my ear lobes, further behind my ears and down my neck, and started heading toward my cheeks and chin. By the next day, it was moving up my temples, around the back of my neck, and down my arms! I went to the doctor on Friday. My doctor was out of the office, so I saw someone else. She seemed nice, and competent. She confirmed it was definately a rash but didn't know what from. I told her how I've been very, very tired lately; I do have trouble sleeping. Asked if I had a headache, No. Asked if I had a sore throat, No. She sent me to the lab to be tested for mono, strep, lyme disease, and I think something else, but I can't remember. She advised that if I did have something contagious, then I most likely was contagious to others 7 days ago, not so much now. I should have the results tomorrow or Tuesday. Now the rash has travelled down to both wrists, so it covers:

• my upper arms
• my lower arms
• my shoulders
• my neck
• under my chin
• the sides of my face up to my temples and down to my jaw
• behind my ears
• both sides of both ear lobes

And the oldest places, mostly my ears and around my ears, is now getting dry and sore. Whenever I take a shower I forget to be gentle when I dry off, and it feels like I'm scrubbing myself with sandpaper.

Sylvia's Mother

Love this song by Dr. Hook.

Bon Jovi did a cover version of it in some concert they recorded. I've known about it for over a year, but I had to run out TODAY and buy the $15.00 DVD, just so I could hear Sylvia's Mother.